Baby, xoxo
by Act4Ever
Summary: Blair has a hard time coping with her pregnancy. She wonders if Chuck will ever want to be in his baby's life. She tries to find herself. Find out what the baby is! Review.
1. Please, don't say so

Blair couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Something that happened on that wonderful night that Chuck let her in, not in his house but in his mind. He told her things that he wouldn't tell anybody unless he was really in an emotional state. He made her feel special when it came down to it.. She knew all these games would come back and hit her. Bother her AND Chuck. What would he say if she told him her theory on what was happening. Blair picked up her phone and dialed Serena.

"Hello?" Serena answered.

"S- There is something wrong with me. I can't even know for sure because I have a fear that Gossip Girl will catch it on film." Blair said. She was really scared.

"Blair, what is it? You sound shaky." Serena asked, she was worried.

"I-I, I think that I may be- that I might be pregnant" Blair said. Sounded as if she were crying.

"Oh, Blair, no! With who, and please don't tell me Chuck." Serena said.

"Fine-Chuck Bass. I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out right now!" Blair whined.

"Blair! I can't even imagine a Chuck Jr. walking around here. You have to find out for sure. I'll take you to the doctor's tomorrow, Ok." Serena told Blair.

"Actually S, I was wondering if you would come with me because I already have a scheduled appointment tonight. I wanted to go late because it seems that I'm just going to a party." Blair said.

"Of course, Blair. What time?" Serena said.

"10 o'clock." Blair said.

"Wow, I didn't even know that doctors were open up that late." S said.

"There not usually but I have a special doctor, a private one coming in." She said.

This was going so fast. First, she was picking out what dress she wanted to wear for prom and know she's deciding to keep a baby that she may be pregnant with. She had always thought she was careful, I guess that night after Chuck's fathers funeral she wasn't planning on anything happening. Then, she just seen him there, depressed and comforted him.

"Okay, I'll be there." S said and hung up.

Blair stared into her mirror, stuffing a pillow making it look like a baby bump. It revolted her to think that she might get that big and to even think that a person was inside her. She would have to give birth which disgusted her.

Serena arrived and knocked on the door.

"Hey Serena, Wait there I'm almost ready." Blair said.

They started to walk out the house. Blair took a sudden turn into a dark alley. There were so many tree's, it scared Serena.

"Um, Blair. Why are we going through a creepy dark alley?" Serena asked.

"Because I highly doubt Gossip Girl would." Blair said.

"Well, that's a good enough answer." Serena understood that.

They soon arrived at this very large house. A house that was beautiful and in an unusually weird spot. It was around nothing. It was amazing.

"Blair when did you find this place?" S asked.

"This is my regular doctor. She is amazing." B said.

Oh"

They knocked on the door and the doctor let them in.

"Hey, Blair. How are you feeling?" Dr. Son Fares said.

"Okay, but I just want to find out quickly." Blair said.

"Okay, follow me Blair." The doctor said.

"Okay, I'll be back Serena." The doctor and Blair walked into a room, 5 minutes later Blair came out to wait for her results.

"I'm so scarred; I don't want to know them.

The doctor came in and said: "Blair, you are definitely pregnant."

Blair started crying, it was all so fast. Serena just stood there shocked. It was startling. First Blair calls her and tells her she thinks she's prenant and then she definitely is.

"What the Hell?" Serena whispered to herself.


	2. Baby, I know

"Why! Why me! I was careful almost each time! Why would some one want to punish me so badly?" Blair said.

"Oh, Blair. Stop being so dramatic all the time. It was a mistake, mistakes happen. So, do you know what you're going to do yet? This is really weird." Serena said.

"No- not yet. But I am definitely considering abortion. I just can't have a baby! I'm Blair freaking Waldorf. "Blair said.

"Well, you should talk to Chuck about it before you do anything. I'm not sure if he would or would not want to know, but still. He is the father right? So, ugh, Chuck Bass Jr." Serena didn't like the idea at all.

"Will you please stop saying that? I'm might not have this baby and it might not even be a boy." Blair was going crazy. She was trying to distract herself from what she was really feeling. Scared-alone- like she would vomit just even thinking of the thing forming inside her.

"Blair, are you going to tell him?" Serena said, in her pushy tone. Serena felt like she had been through so much that she didn't even care what was happening.

"Y-yeah, I'm, I'm going to tell him tomorrow." Blair said, here it came again the scared vomit feeling.

Blair went to bed and hoped that she wouldn't wake back up. She was tired but she just couldn't sleep. She though of the baby and how it felt like a meatball sandwich not digesting right. She wishes she could turn that night around and make it as if it never happened. She knew she couldn't. She woke up and the sun was shinning so bright it hurt her eyes. She woke up and she didn't feel nauseated, which was weird because she was having it horribly the past few weeks.

_**Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.**_

She failed to pick up the phone; she was still in shock after last night. Today, she promised S that she would tell Chuck the 'oh, so amazing' news. She really didn't, he would deny her and call her a slut. She thought, 'That's exactly what he's going to say!' and probably that it's not even his. She would just have to wait and see. She went to school, thank god that there are only a little over a month left. If she kept the baby, she would probably be showing

"Blair! Here are your dresses that you told me to design. I'm pretty sure that they are exact detail." It was Jenny Humphrey. Thank goodness that she snapped Blair out of her nightmare daze.

:Oh, yeah, um, thanks." B said bluntly.

"Is there something wrong with you? You never say thanks." Jenny said. It was true. Blair didn't believe that she had to say thanks to something that was agreed on. She usually could trust little J, should she trust her with this?

"I have to tell you something. If you spread this around I will strike you with the ultimate social destruction, I have debts on you, can I trust you with this small miss fortunate mistake?" Blair said calmly. She always came on stronger than her will.

"Yes, B. I know everything you can do to ruin me so why would I risk being not trusted?" Jenny said. It was true; a lot of havoc could be done to her through the teeniest mistakes.

"I, I'm pregnant." Blair said sternly.

Jenny's mouth dropped, she wasn't expecting to be told that. She was expecting to be told that B killed someone.

"Oh, I'm, I'm sorry. whose is it?" Jenny asked, still shocked.

"whose else could it be rather than Chuck. I and Nate broke up over 6 months ago." Blair said. She rather the baby is Nate's then Chucks because at least Nate had sympathy. She loved Chuck, but she always had doubts about how he felt about her. They were never "Together" but practically just two people who liked to play games.

"I'm sorry. This is so unexpecting. Are you going to keep it?" J asked.

Blair thought really hard. Either way, she was going to have this baby. Having an abortion would make her feel bad, but she still thought it was the right thing to do.

"Yes. Would you like to make some paternity clothes for me?" Blair said.

"Well, aren't you just going to buy the big designers clothes?" J said.

"Yes, but I could probably wear your too, and it would probably make a name for yourself isn't that what you want?" Blair said. She was so tired she didn't even know what she was saying.

"Yeah!" J said. She thought that Blair was being oddly nice today. She thought she was just to distracted and that she should take in this moment because it probably wasn't going to happen again.

Blair walked away as soon as she spotted Chuck. He was talking to a few female friends but then left and went to his locker. She was thinking about whether or not she should just tell him now and gets it over with. She decided to take a chance and started walking towards him.

"Chuck." Blair said sternly.

"Blair." Chuck said the same.

"I have an important matter to discuss with you." Blair said.

"Well, okay can it wait because the bell is ringing and I really can't miss anymore, If I miss two more days they said I would fail." Chuck said. He started to walk away. Blair grabbed his arm.

"It really can't wait. I have to tell you know or I won't ever until it's too late to do anything." Blair said hesitantly.

"Well, well. This sounds serious. Something I can hang over your head?" Chuck said slyly just waiting for Blair to tell him something that he could use against her.

"No, it's something I can hang over yours. I'm, I'm, and I'm pregnant." Blair said, she wanted to puke just waiting for his reaction. She stared at the ground until he would speak.

She looked up and seen him. He was making a face that looked like he was trying to read her mind. He was speechless; he wanted to hurt her for doing this.

"Wow, congrats to the father." Chuck said, he knew what she meant- that he was the father. He turned around.

"I knew you would do this. I just knew you would deny me. Just so you know- I'm keeping the baby." Blair said. She was hurt by just a few words

Chuck turned around.

"So, I don't get any say in this? Thanks." Chuck said and headed off to class. It angered him that she had everything all

Blair was upset, tears started to run down her face. She didn't know why she was crying because she knew what Chuck was going to say.


	3. This is real

Blair was upset and vulnerable. She had no idea how she was going to do this. She just decided that she was going to keep the baby and she knew it wasn't fair to Chuck to get a say in. She was almost 4 months pregnant and it was basically too late to have an abortion. If she gave it up for adoption, she couldn't help to feel that there was a part of her on the planet and it would probably end up tracking her later.

_**Ring. Ring. Ring.**_

"Hello." Blair asked frailly, hoping it was Chuck, but the caller i.d. showed up a different name.

"Hey B, so, did you tell Chuck yet?" It was Serena.

"Yeah I did. It was the worst thing I ever did. Not only did he deny it at first but he made me feel bad about my decision." Blair said.

"Blair, your keeping the baby!" Serena wished that she wouldn't. She wished that there life would just go back to normal.

"Yes, don't try to talk me out of it. It's the only logical thing to do in my mind. It will just grow up with out a father. Which a lot of kids do." Blair said. She wasn't planning on Chuck to step in any time soon.

"Blair, you only just told Chuck. You just have to let it set in. He loves you and he would never just leave you like that." Serena said. He was her step-brother

"He doesn't love me, he doesn't love anything, not even himself. I'm rich. That's good. I also just told my mom and she totally almost killed me!" Blair said. "But she said that she will help out in any way she could."

"I will help out too. Blair just knows that even though I don't think you should have Chuck's baby doesn't mean I won't be there for you." Serena said. She loved Blair, she was like a sister she never had.

"Serena! It's not Chuck's baby. It's mine. He is not the one who is actually holding it in his stomach. It's revolting kind of." Blair said

"Hey, Blair. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow at school." Serena said.

Blair hung up. Would Chuck really stand up? She had a big doubt that he wouldn't..

Blair went to her body mirror. She stared at her stomach that was only slightly bigger then her usually thin self. She just looked like she was getting a fuller figure and she had waited 2 months since her missed period to even think about being pregnant. She was surprised that she wasn't bigger because she thought usually when people were 3 months pregnant that they were already showing. She put her hand over the small bulge and hoped that everything would turn out ok.

Blair walked to her locker. Then she went to class. As she was walking down the hall to her classroom she spotted Chuck. He was getting his books. She thought 'did he even care about her and the baby?' She was stopped in the hall by Jenny.

"Blair will you look through these designs and tell me which you would consider wearing. Just circle them." Jenny said.

"Ok." B said and walked away. Chuck looked over at her and headed to his classroom. He did feel guilt. How could he do this to a girl-especially Blair? If he had been more careful with her this wouldn't be happening he thought to himself.

It was happening fast because Blair in the previous months denied that she could ever be this for a possibility. She already had an ultra sound and sonogram, she could also find out if the baby was a boy or girl. She didn't even know if she wanted to know because this just made it seem more real. It had been almost two weeks since she found out the news. She was still coping. She always thought Serena was lucky. She was tall and blonde. She even stole Nate from her. Well, she didn't want Nate. It hurt her badly and Chuck was there for her to cope.

Blair headed to the doctors with Serena.

"So, are going to want to know if the baby is a boy or girl?" Serena said.

"I don't want to really know anything right know. This baby could disappear for all I care. Maybe it will be stolen when it's born and they won't be able to find it." Blair was saying all this stuff out of fear and anger. She was depressed and couldn't help it.

"Well, that's morbid B. That would be horrible." Serena said.

Blair and Serena's text alert went off.

_**Looks like we got a baby on our hands. Look's like Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf are already planning their own little family. Let's just hope the baby isn't a weakling or a coward like its parents. You know you love me.**_

_**Xoxo, Gossip Girl**_

"Oh my gosh. Oh my GOSH! OH MY GOSH! Now everybody knows! My life is over! I can't believe this!" Blair was crying. She was freaking out and didn't know how to stop.

"Blair breathe, they were going to find out any ways. Your going to be showing with in a few weeks." Serena said trying to calm her down.

"How does she know? You and Chuck and Jenny are the only ones that know!" Blair said.

"I didn't tell anyone and I doubt Chuck did." Serena said.

OMG! Jenny told and she said she wouldn't!" Blair screamed.

They headed into the hospital. Blair signed some papers and then was called in.

They had her lay down and put this freezing cold jelly stuff on her stomach. They took the little thing and rubbed it in.

"That is your baby." The doctor said.

Blair just felt her heart drop. They really were a baby in there. She started crying. It was as if it never really felt real. She didn't feel love or hate to it. She just felt numb and bad. How could she hate this living thing that she created and was a part of her? The doctor gave her these headphones that played the baby's heartbeat. She felt butterfly's and not the good kind. She was really, truly scared.

"Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" The doctor said.

Blair had to think. She decided.

"yes." She said bluntly.

"It looks like your having a girl." The doctor said.

Blair didn't know what to think.


	4. Don't Look At Me

"Isn't this exciting Blair! I'm going to have a little niece. It's a girl! Doesn't that phase you at all?" Serena was concerned that Blair was really traveling to deep into this depression.

"I guess." Blair whispered.

"Okay, Blair. I can't take this! Snap out of it and stop being selfish and worrying only about you!" Serena was getting annoyed. She wanted to try to turn every bad situation to something good.

Blair turned her head to Serena in astonishment. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She thought about what if Serena was in this situation, wouldn't she act the same? She felt miserable and confused.

"Me? Selfish! Oh, please Serena! You would act the same way. You weren't just broadcasted about your pregnancy in front of the whole upper New York! You weren't denied by the father of your baby. My life is falling a part. Is yours?" Blair was uncontrollable. She was terrified and she didn't even know what was going on.

It hit Serena hard. She felt bad about what she said suddenly. She just wanted Blair to feel better because she hated seeing her best friend sinking into a deep depression.

"Okay. I'm sorry Blair. I just, I just hate seeing you not like yourself." Serena said. It was true that she wished that Blair would stop neglecting everyone.

"It's okay. I'm going to bed. I have a big day tomorrow and I will need my rest for my bitch attack on Jenny. Goodnight." Blair got up and left. Life was changing fast and she couldn't stop it. She was humiliated and nothing could change the past..

Blair and Serena walked up the stairs to school. All eyes were on Blair and she just wanted to cry. She always liked being stared at but only if it were because people really liked her outfit or her shoes. She couldn't stand it. She looked over and there was Chuck standing in a corner. He looked as humiliated as she did. Then there was Jenny.

"You backstabbing bitch!" Blair yelled at Jenny.

"What are you talking about?" Jenny really had no clue as to why Blair was calling her this. She was used to her scowls but not being blamed.

"Are you kidding? You told everyone I was pregnant, therefore, you're going to pay the consequences." Blair yelled. She hated being lied too. Right now she really wanted to kill Jenny.

"Blair. I have no idea what you're talking about! I didn't tell anyone! I swear. I wouldn't do that. Blair I know what you're going to do so please don't do it. I have no idea who done it!" Jenny was almost crying. She really didn't do it. She wanted to save herself from humiliation.

Blair looked at Jenny. She started to believe her, but she wasn't sure if she could trust her. She did the most obvious thing and walked away. If Jenny didn't do it, then it had to be Chuck. But why? Why would he tell people about something he didn't even want to stick up for?

"Chuck!" Blair practically screamed. Chuck was at his locker and barely looked at her.

"How could you! Why would you tell people this! I know that you would want to hurt me. But why would you make it public." Blair was crying. Chuck turned around to her.

"Blair. I didn't tell anyone! Why would I do that? I wouldn't want to hurt you like this. If it would also hurt me too. I thought you were the one who told people about the baby." Chuck said. He was confused.

"What! Why would I do such a thing?!" Blair yelled.

"I don't know. Because you wanted stuff from me." Chuck said. He truly thought Blair wanted to make him stand up to this responsibility. He didn't understand anything that was really going on. He thought she wanted money from him.

Blair was hurt really bad from what he said. She didn't understand why he would think such a thing. She had money. She wanted her life back to normal and Chuck thought she was just scamming him.

"I don't want anything from!" She said angrily. She really didn't. Chuck didn't mean it to sound the way it did. Blair walked away.

"Blair! I'm sorry! Come back!" She was gone and he felt bad. He didn't think she would take it so hardly.

Blair woke up the next morning. She felt horrible, like she overate too much and ran to her bathroom. Morning sickness sucked. She went to the mirror to brush her teeth. She dropped her toothbrush in horror. She was showing. You could definitely tell that she had a bun in the oven now. Her eyes tear up. She was really pregnant and now she looked like it.

_**Ring. Ring. Ring**_

She picked up her phone on the third ring.

"Hello?" Blair said without bothering to look at who it was.

"Blair?" It was Chuck "Please don't hang up!"

"What do you want Chuck?" She didn't feel like talking to him. Not after what he had said the other day. She didn't feel like talking to anyone. Her hormones were whacked up and at random times she thought she was going to just start crying.

"I want to say that I'm sorry. Can we talk? Go out to lunch maybe?' Chuck insisted. She wasn't going to pass up food anymore.

"Fine, pick me up at twelve." She said.


	5. Reality is Here

As planned, Blair got ready for her lunch date with Chuck. She tried to pick out a lovely casual dress, but it was hard because they weren't fitting her right. She though ' I really need to go shopping'. Then she finally picked out a black dress that was off the shoulders with a silver sequined stomach belt. She was surprised that it fit her. She was nervous and she didn't know what Chuck wanted. All she knew was that Chuck was going to pay for every plate of food that she ordered.

_**Ring. Ring.**_

This time it wasn't her phone, it was her door bell. She was a little nauseated but she thought that it would pass. She took a few bags in case it didn't. She looked fine, as good as any fat, pregnant teenager could look. She opened the door with a stern face. It was Chuck.

"Are you ready?" He asked in a gentle tone. It disgusted her how he was trying to be nice, when that wasn't who he was.

"Nope, I really don't want to give birth to this baby, I'm too young." Blair said sarcastically.

Chuck was cut off guard. He didn't know what to say because what was he suppose to say to that. It was true.

"Oh my gosh. Chill Chuck, I was being sarcastic. Of course I'm ready to go." Blair said as she headed out the door. Chuck didn't know what he was getting himself into.

They started driving to a small lunch spot named Panera. It was cute and they had some interesting choices. Chuck ordered the Cheeseburger. Blair ordered the Broccoli and Cheese soup bread bowl as well as the Chicken noodle bread bowl. She ordered a cranberry salad and lemonade. She then ordered Chocolate cake with 2 slices of chocolate pie. Chuck thought she was never going to stop ordering food. They sat down at a small table.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Blair said. She was eating her cake first.

"Um, I don't know. How far along are you?" He asked Blair.

"Almost 4 and half months. The due date is October 25. Pretty close to Halloween guess."

"Gosh, that's really far." Chuck sounded nervous. He didn't want to be a father. He just wanted to be himself.

"What did you expect? I'm freaking fat and I can't almost see my toes! Do you see this/ It's growing by the minute!" Blair started to cry. She was a wreck. She hated being fat, she was even bulimic a few years ago. A baby didn't help.

"I'm sorry Blair." He said. What else could he say that would make her cry more, a lot. He didn't like seeing her like this. It just put things into reality. How could he be stupid? He thought.

She looked up at him. He looked with real sincerity. He looked like a helpless child that had no idea what to do. She knew that this wasn't going to be hard on just her, but him too.

"Your going to help out?" Blair asked.

"I try my best." Chuck said. His stomach churned with the idea. Fatherhood. He couldn't even stand up to have a girlfriend never less a child. Blair got up and hugged him. It felt nice that she was not alone right now.

"He really is going to help with the baby?" Serena asked Blair. She knew he was, Chuck wasn't that cruel. She knew deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down he had a heart for more than himself.

"Yeah, I guess." Blair was starting to feel a little better about this unfortunate situation.

Blair was tired a lot. She needed to take a nap before she past out on to the floor. She knew that Gossip Girl was around when she was talking to Chuck about her being pregnant. So, she didn't really blame anyone but herself. She was still going to go to college. She was just going to have more baggage than she should. She was lucky that her mom supported her decisions. She was lucky that Chuck understood was happening. Though he could barely look at her she thought it was better than nothing.

She dreamed that night, it was a nightmare. She was in labor; the doctors said that the neck of her baby was wrapped with the baby's umbilical chord. She was in so much pain she could feel it in her dream. Next thing she knew, the baby was dead. All of a sudden the doctors started to call her a baby killer, she kept yelling for them to stop but they just repeated it, even Chuck started to join in with them, then her mom and Serena. She woke up. She was sweating more than ever.

She couldn't sleep after that. What if her baby died during birth? She would never forgive herself.

Going on to ninth period, she had to run to the bathroom. She was going shopping with her mother tonight to pick out some clothes that actually fit her. She was scared to face her mom alone, usually she was with Serena. Her mom's car pulled up early.

"Mom? What are you doing, I thought we were going after school?" Blair said with curiouslity.

"Well, I have a last minute show later so I thought now would be better than nothing." Her mother said.

"Okay, let's go." Blair said. Her stomach churned with the thought of her mother judging her,

"I can't believe my baby is having a bay." Her mother said in the car. She felt horrible that she was putting her mother through this.

Blair started to cry.

"I'm really sorry mom. I wish I would have been more careful. I'm so sorry. I'm really scared mom." Blair was sobbing uncontrollably.

"It's alright baby. People younger than you make the mistake. Your only a year younger then I was when I had you. Your acting just like me. Honey, I swear it's going to get better. Look at my wonderful baby right now. She's beautiful and s,art-" Her mother was cut off.

"And pregnant." Blair couldn't help but to feel sorry for herself.

"I love you no matter what happens." Her mother said.

Blair wished she were a little kid again. When your five, you don't have to worry about pressure and getting pregnant. You don't worry about boys breaking your heart. All yu do Is play and enjoy life/ She wished so badly to be a little kid again.

"Thank you mom, I love you so much and I'm so sorry!" Blair hugged her mother as tight as she could.


	6. The Impossible

"He is still being weird about the whole thing Serena! He can't even look at me." Blair said, it hurt her to not trust Chuck with a baby. She still couldn't tell if he was really going to be in its life even if he said he was. Trusting Chuck wasn't exactly easy.

"He's probably still scared. I would be too. You know what they say, 'A woman becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant, a man becomes a father when he first see's his baby' or something like that. You know what I'm saying." Serena said. In her mind she still didn't really know what was going on.

"I hope your right. I don't even know if I want anyone in the delivery room. If there are they are going to be standing at my head." Blair said. She felt uneasy about the delivering part. She didn't like pain, she didn't like feeling exposed.

"Well, I will most definitely be standing at your head." Serena said. They laughed.

"Well, Serena, it's like your practically living with me." Blair said jokingly.

"What else am I going to do?" Serena said. She really didn't have much a life. She quit parties, she had no boyfriend, and her mother was always with Rufus.

Serena and Blair were like close sisters without the biological stuff. Blair would probably be a wreck without Serena. She didn't even want to find out. She was slowly calming down about the baby. She was already 5 months along and what else could she do? The next day, they went to school. Everybody got use to Blair and she really didn't care what people were thinking about her. She also had clothes that fit her. Her mom was being supportive and Chuck was semi-talking to her.

"Oh!" Blair practically yelled. She was startled.

"What. What is it? What's wrong?" Serena said, worried.

"The baby just kicked and it scared me. Now my heart is racing." Blair laughed. It was an uneasy feeling but she knew there was something living inside her.

"Really, that's good. At least you know it's still alive." Serena wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Man, I think I need to start doing some Pilates before I gain too much wait that will be hard to lose." Blair didn't want to be fat.

"Blair, you have only gained at most 15 pounds. That's lucky; usually babies are around 6 or 7 pounds." Serena said. She thought Blair was too skinny anyways.

"Yeah, 10 pounds is still a lot of weight. I usually only weigh about 103 pound and now I weigh almost 120. The baby is just going to keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger and it won't stop!" Blair was getting too much into herself.

"Blair once the baby is born you still be a skinny Minnie as you always were." Serena said.

"Hopefully, and OH MY GOSH! Those Buffalo tacos look amazing and I need some right now!"

Serena was starting to get depressed. She missed her friend that would jam to The Killers and go clubbing with her. She missed the Blair that only cared about herself and was The Queen bee. Now, that Blair was gone, and it would never be returned. Inside she missed everything in her past.

"Dorota, I'm going to need to go shopping for baby stuff. I would like you to set me up a ride tomorrow around noon." Blair said.

"You got it Miss Blair. I will set it up right now." Dorota said. "Oh, and Miss Blair, Chuck called about an hour ago." She said.

Blair was shocked; she didn't expect Chuck to call ever. She thought he was just another lost soul trying to ditch her. She wondered what he wanted and if she should call him back. She took her phone and dialed his number. No one answered. She thought it was good that she gave it a shot and didn't chicken out.

She was really tired. She decided to go to sleep and maybe she would have more energy the next day. She couldn't see her toes which upset her because she had bought really cute shoes. She lay down and relaxed. She woke up at about 6 in the morning. She was hungry and attempted to drive herself to a restaurant. She wasn't even sure if she was allowed to drive but she didn't really care. She decided to take a disgusting, germ infected cab. She went into a Chinese restaurant that was surprisingly open. She was almost 6 months pregnant by then. She felt like her life was truly over, she sat there for a while as pain invaded her mind. She felt useless. She thought that she wasn't ever going to do anything in her life. Not with a baby she wasn't. She thought that maybe she should put the baby up for adoption even though she hardly believed in it. She thought really hard, she had to decide if she was going to put the baby up. It was the best choice for her and probably the baby. She felt better knowing that she could give the baby away with no problems The next day she called in and asked


	7. As I Lay Me Down to Sleep

"Blair! Are you sure, I mean, giving a baby up for adoption is a hard thing to do. Shouldn't you talk to Chuck or your mom about this first?" Serena said of Blair's decision. She actually liked the idea because she would have her best friend back. They could do there ordinary things. She actually felt some hope of winning her friend back from the baby that was going to destroy her life.

"I can't do this Serena! Chuck would be more than willing to and my mom said what ever I wanted to do was fine." Blair said. She was calming down. Adoption started to be a big thing in her mind.

"Okay, but I think you should still talk to Chuck about this. He is the father and he has a right." Serena said.

"Since when has he been a father so far? He barely talks to me. Serena, I would like it if you supported my decision. You don't know what it's like to be this way. I have no social life now and no body wants to talk to me." Blair said. It was upsetting that she didn't get good views on her decision.

"I'm sorry Blair. I guess it is a good decision. You are really young and deserve to have a life that doesn't involve babies till your 30." Serena said. Blair smiled.

"If it helps then I will talk to Chuck tomorrow about it. I'm sure he isn't going to care what I do." Blair said. She hugged Serena.

Blair walked toward Chuck's usual table for lunch. She sat down and he looked up at her from the book he was reading.

"I have to talk to you about something." Blair said confidently.

"Okay." He said silently. He was nervous for what she was going to say. He still hadn't gotten over the pregnancy thing.

"I want to put the baby up for adoption." Blair said.

"What! Adoption? That's crude. Why?" He said. He didn't know why he was so interested. He didn't like adoption.

"You and I can continue our life's without this little mistake. I want to have my old self back and you won't have to even consider stepping up." Blair said.

"I don't know. Are there going to be anybody for him?" He said. He wasn't sure how adoption went. The idea did sound tempting though. He was scared and didn't really want to be a father.

"Yes. We don't even have to have an open adoption. We just have to sign papers when 'She' is born, not a he. Then we just give her away to the parents. Then just go along with our lives." Blair said. She was trying to make this sound as best as possible.

"So, you want to give our daughter away for your own selfish reasons. What if these parents are some abusive, molesting baby snatchers?" He said. He did feel for the baby. He didn't know how he couldn't because this was his baby.

It hit Blair hard at what he said. She didn't think he would be this difficult to talk to in giving away the baby. It was worst that he called her selfish.

"Well, Chuck. You don't know what I'm going through; you don't have to carry this baby around for a long time facing swollen ankles and back pain. You have no idea about this whole thing." Blair said, she was angry and upset.

"Even if I did, I would do it with a little more compassion that you just can't seem to find. Don't you feel for her at all? If you don't then why are you even holding it?" Chuck said.

Blair got up and left, she didn't want Chuck to see her cry. Why was he saying such harsh word? She thought. He could never hold this baby. There is something wrong with me because I don't feel anything for this baby. All I want is for it to be gone. She felt like the devil thinking that but it was true. She still wanted to put up the baby for adoption. The thing is that you need the father's signature. Which she was hoping to get.

_**Ring. Ring. Ring.**_

"Hello" Serena answered.

"He's not going to sign the papers!" Blair yelled. She was a wreck.

"You mean he wants the baby?" Serena said. She was shocked and scared. She wanted the baby gone and to never to return.

"I don't know. He just went on about not having compassion and criticizing me because he thinks I am selfish!" Blair said. She was extremely upset. She thought this was her chance at being a normal teenager.

"Well, you are doing it for your own reasons. I don't think you care about the baby really." Serena said. She was just being honest.

"I don't! Why should I keep the baby id I don't even like it! I will tie him down when it's time to sign the papers. He is most definitely going to sign them whether he likes it or not." Blair yelled. She wasn't going to keep this baby.

Blair woke up the next morning extremely nauseated. She couldn't even go to school. Serena came by and dropped of her school work. Blair was tired. The doctors told her it was due to a lot of stress and that she should just stay in bed and relax for a few days. She thought right.

Chuck walked by Serena after she was back at school.

"Where is Blair?" He asked Serena.

"Why does it matter Chuck?" She asked. Blair was mainly stressed due to Chuck.

"Well, I need to talk to her." He said arrogantly. He hated it when he was questioned.

"Well, she is in bed rest from the doctor because she is over stressed. So, I wouldn't recommend you seeing her because each time she talks to you she gets more stressed and stressed. So just wait a few days so you can put her to bed rest again." Serenha said. She was sick of it. She didn't cared about anything. Chuck was getting on her nerves.

"You too, want Blair to give away my baby?" Chuck asked.

"I never said that." Serena said. She didn't know where he was getting at.

"You just want Blair back so you can party and have your old life back. I'm not buying it and I'm not giving it up for adoption." Chuck said.

Serena didn't say anything because she knew it was true.


	8. I have a Life Too

"I don't know why you care so much, Chuck." Serena said. She thought of the past few months that he barely would talk to Blair. She thought about how hurt Blair became knowing she was probably doing this alone. Blair was hurt by him one to many times.

"Well, why do you?" Chuck said. He hadn't had any idea. He was just snapping out of the drama and realizing the reality. He thought Serena was just there making Blair think she should give the baby up for adoption.

"Well, for one thing. I have been there for her. I didn't just tell her I was going to help and never talk to her again. I didn't leave her when she needed me the most, just like you did." Serena said. She hated seeing Blair like that.

Chuck didn't say anything. He just walked away. He couldn't deal with her right now; he had other stuff to deal with. He just didn't know what to do.

Blair looked through papers that had to do with adoption. She thought it sounded safe. There were many forms that were needed to be filled out. There were medical backgrounds that you had to inform of any diseases that occurred in you're her family and Chuck also had to sign the same. There were so many she had to sign. She only had 4 months until the baby's birth date. That seemed like little time. Her phone rang and she answered:

"Hello?" Blair said. She didn't care who it was, she was just trying to get things done.

"Hey, Blair. I don't think Chuck is going to sign the papers for adoption." Serna said. Blair already knew this.

"Why don't you think so?" Blair said. She was still reading a paper so she wasn't really paying attention to what she was Serena was saying.

"Well, because he told me he wasn't going to sign the papers." Serena said.

"Don't worry. I'm going to make him sign them if it's the last thing I do." Blair said. She wasn't going to have Chuck mess up her life because of something he didn't believe in.

"Ok. I don't think it's going to be easy." Serena said. Blair hung up. She dialed a phone number on her phone.

"Hello?" It was Chuck.

"Chuck, if you're not going to sign the papers then you are taking the baby." Blair said flatly. She thought that if he wanted her so much then he can have her.

"Are you serious? Are you telling me that you don't care an inch about this baby?" Chuck said. He thought it was pathetic and heartless that she was acting this way. He never knew anyone who honestly said that they didn't care about there baby.

"Yup. I hope you enjoy changing a diaper, not getting any sleep, and having to constantly feed something. Oh, I hope you like having to care about someone other than yourself." Blair said. She knew she wasn't supposed to do this but she was just trying to have him sign the papers.

She was tired of everything. Of constantly having to know that she was holding a baby. She hated that people treated her differently. Life was hard enough and hers had just gotten harder. Soon she would be 7 months and she would just go on there.

Blair couldn't wait until the baby was born because then she could just get on with her life. She could have more parties, she could even drink. She thought the first thing she does after the baby is born is to get drunk

Serena came in.

"hey." Serena said. She collapsed on Blair's bed.

"Is someone sleepy?" Blair asked.

"Yeah, just a little. Damn, how many papers do you need to sign?" Serena asked. It was like a whole stack.

"Are you kidding me? Most of these are just for have the baby. One for my medical background. One for Chuck's medical background. It's all so confusing." Blair said.

"That is a lot." Serena said.

"Ok, you stay here and I'm going to take a shower. When I'm done we should go out for Chinese buffet." Blair said.

"Okay. I'm seriously gaining tons of weight with you. Your making me eat everything you eat." Serena said. They laughed.

"Sorry, I guess no one's life can be perfect." Blair said. He left and went to the bathroom

Serena thought about a guy she seen in the mall she went too. He worked at a smoothie stand and he was gorgeous. He totally flirted with her too. She had to much to deal with anyways. She hoped that he would call her.

"Okay, I'm done. Let's go." Blair said and they left


	9. Life Can hurt

Blair woke up in serious pain. She felt like she could barely breathe. She literally thought she was going to die. She didn't know what to do. She could barely move as it is. She picked up her phone and dialed Serena's number. No body answered. Her mom was away on a business trip. She had to other choice then to call Chuck, She hoped he would answer.

"Hello." It was Chuck. He answered. It sounded as if she had woken him up.

"Chuck." She could barely talk. She was scared that she was having a miscarriage.

"Blair? It's 5 O' clock in the morning. What do you want?" Chuck said. He was never in a good mood when he woke up.

"I need you to take me to the doctor. Serena and my mom are gone. Please pick me up." Blair whispered out. She was in intense pain.

"Um, Okay. What's wrong?" Chuck said. It scared him because she really sounded in pain.

"I'm in intense pain, now please pick me up." Blair said. It annoyed her that he hadn't left yet.

He hurried up and got dressed. Blair sounded upset. He was confused and didn't really know what he should do. He went to his car and drove to Blair's house. He went up to her apartment and knocked on her door. No one came to the door. He opened the door and went in.

"Blair?" He called out. No one answered him. He looked around and there he found Blair on the floor.

"Blair! Are you ok?" He asked to her on the floor.

"I can't move. It hurts to much." Blair said while tears flooded her face.

He went over and tried to help her up. He wasn't sure if he should even move her in case it did something wrong. She slowly went up. His arm around her trying to support her so she could walk. He went into the elevator along with Blair.

"Are you ok?" Chuck asked her.

"No." Blair cried. She thought he was so stupid. Couldn't he tell she was in serious pain by the way she was getting around? She felt like he had no common sense. She was terrified at what was happening and his stupidity made her fell worse.

Chuck gently put her into his Mercedes and drove away. He drove slowly so he wouldn't hurt her. It just made her mad because she wanted to be at the hospital faster. If he didn't drive faster she thought she would die.

"Can you please freaking drive faster?" She screamed. It only made him more nervous. She couldn't help it though.

"S-sorry." Chuck managed to stutter and push his foot down on the gas a little more. He was confused and he felt sick to his stomach. It didn't help that she was screaming at him constantly. She was lucky that he even went to pick her up from her misery. She could at least appreciate it, he thought.

He pulled into the hospital managing to get Blair out of the car. She held on to his arm until they got inside the hospital. They put her in a wheel chair and took her room. Chuck had to wait in the waiting room until they were done examining her. How did he get himself into this mess? He couldn't believe anything. Everything felt unreal and like he was in a horror movie. The doctor came in the waiting room.

"I assume you're the father." The doctor asked.

"Yeah. Is she okay?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah, she's fine. She just went into false labor. This could mean she is having to much stress and it's not going good with the baby. She could have complications with labor." He doctor said. Did he expect Chuck to know what to do? He hoped not. Premature labor was like almost labor which scared him to death.

The next few days Blair couldn't even move because of doctors orders. She had a high risk pregnancy and that wasn't good at all. Blair felt comptenplative. This is not good for Blair Waldrof. She had to except the fact that she wasn't going anywhere in 2 months-at least not until the baby is born.


	10. Authors Note

_***Authors Note.**_

_**I just wanted to say that I have been very busy and haven't had much time to write. Please be patient and don't stop reading while I try to find free time.**_

_**Much Love, Shana**__****_


	11. Time can heal all Wounds

Blair looked at herself in her whole bodied mirror. In just a month a baby would be born, her baby. How could she not love it? She had been carrying this baby around when she could have gotten it taken cared of. She felt horrible about the last few months. She had taken everything out on this baby and people who were trying to help her out. She is surprised that they even still talked to her. Thinking she was having a miscarriage really made her think about how much she really cared for the baby, and how much people really cared for her. She called Chuck in the early morning and he came, Serena has been there for her since day one.

"Hey, you know you are not supposed to be out of bed." Serena said. Serena was always protective of her.

"I know, but it gets so boring and I need some time to just walk around and stretch." Blair said. It was the truth; it was the most boring thing in the world.

"Well, I brought some Chinese take out so we can have lunch." Serena said. Blair had been eating Chinese all the time because that's all she wanted.

"That sounds good. I'm starving. Actually Serena, I want to talk to you about something." Blair said as she got a plate.

"Um, okay. I hope it isn't anything bad." Serena said. She hated it when people.

"I just want to tell you how much I appreciate what you have been doing for me over the months. You have been so nice even when I wasn't. I just wanted you to know that." Blair said. She felt better now that she had gotten that off her chest.

"Wow where the hell did that comes from." Serena said. They both sort of laughed. It shocked Serena. It was as if things were just starting to catch up with Blair.

"I don't know. I just have had a lot of time to think with me being cooped up in the bed everyday." It was true.

"Well, I would do it all the time if I had too. That does not mean that you should get pregnant all the time though." Serena laughed. She felt like her best friend was coming back to her.

"Oh, don't worry. After this, I am not ever having anymore kids." Blair said. She never wanted o go through this again. She was sure about that.

"Oh, sure. In ten years you will be coming to me saying that you're pregnant again." Serena said.

"Yeah, but If I am, then I will be married because that's the only time that I'm ever going to have sex again." Blair said. There was too much risk with sex. STD's and pregnancy, HIV. There were lots of things that you had to worry about.

"I think the person you should actually be apologizing to is Chuck." Serena said.

"I know. It's hard though. I hate talking to him because he makes me feel bad about myself." Blair said. Chuck was hard to talk too.

"Oh, Blair. Don't worry; he makes everybody feel bad about themselves." Serena said. They laughed, but it was kind of true.

"You are so right." Blair smiled. She didn't really want to talk to Chuck though.

As Blair started to fall asleep she thought about how her life would be right now if she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. She would probably still be queen bee. She could probably still be with Chuck without this mess. It made her kind of sad when she thought about it. Keeping this baby; she would definitely have to give up most of her teenage years. She would have to think about her every time she made a choice. She didn't like the thought of that. She was still way too selfish to provide for another life. She couldn't keep this baby.

"Do you think you could tell Chuck to come over the next time you see him, Serena?" Blair asked.

"Why don't you just call him?" Serena said.

"Well, I have had a lot to think about since yesterday and if I apologize to Chuck in person then it would be more meaningful. You know what I'm saying? Blair said. She had no idea what she was saying because her hormones were whacked up.

"No, not really. I don't think you even know. I will tell him tomorrow at school. He never comes home so I never see him there." Serena said. It kind of hurt Blair when Serena told her that Chuck was rarely home.

"Well, do you-Do you think he's out with other girls?" Blair asked Serena. Blair hated the feeling that he was. He could do whatever he wants and Blair treated him like carp for the past 5 months.

"Blair. Don't tell me you still have feelings for him." Serena said. Things always turned out messed up between Blair and Chuck. Well, that's what Serena thought anyway.

"No, I don't. It's just that I kind of; you know I am carrying his daughter. That has to mean something doesn't it?" Blair said.

"No, it just means you guys lacked protection." Serena said. She couldn't believe Blair actually had feelings for him, you couldn't tell by the way she was treating him a few months ago. It was as if she woke up.

"I guess." Blair couldn't shake the feeling of Chuck with other woman. It made her hurt so bad. Maybe Chuck realized that he never liked Blair and she was a mistake. Blair was just paranoid and delusional.


	12. I am here

Blair's eyes jolted open. More intense pain, no this can't be happening. She was just in the hospital; she woke Serena up who spent the night there.

"Se-ow-Serena!' Blair cried o

"What is it Blair, what's wrong?" Serena murmured in her sleep. Blair was confused. The pain was gone.

"Um, never mind. I'm just going crazy." Blair started to blame things on her hormones, illusions of pain? She thought she was going crazy. Serena was already back to sleep, Blair didn't think she woke up in the first place.

Blair closed her eyes, hoping she wouldn't feel that awful pain again. That really scared her. Then she tried to close her eyes and go back to sleep again. She took deep breaths because her heart was pounding. There she went, she was almost asleep. Then more pain started coming. She could barely speak; she called out as loud as she could:

"Serena!" Blair kept screaming over and over until she woke up.

"Oh my gosh Blair! What's wrong?!" Serena called out, Blair looked awful. She was crying hard and was on the ground.

'I don't know, take me to the hospital!" Blair cried. She felt like she was dying. She can't be dying can she? Oh she hoped she wasn't.

Serena ran over to Blair and tried to get her up and tried to carry her. Then Blair told her too put her down. That she was okay now.

"Blair you are not okay! You better walk down there and get in my car so we can go to the hospital!" Serena screamed she wasn't scared for the baby. She felt bad thinking this but she didn't care if the baby died or not. She was more worried for her bestest friend.

"Okay, Fine. But if they tell me I'm dying then I will hate you forever." Blair said as she wobbled down to Serena's car. She was really scared. She didn't now what was happening. She was just happy that the hospital was less than 5 minutes away. She wanted the pain to go away.

Serena hurried in her car and drove off. She was surprised that Blair wasn't freaking out like she normally would. It kind of shocked her. Maybe its because Blair has been through so much in the months that Blair didn't care anymore. Serena missed her old friend. Even though Blair was a bitch, controlling, she was the most loyal person she's known. A few tears ran down Serena's face as she remembered the old times. Her life has spiraled in too an uncontrollable path and she feels so useless.

"What's wrong, Serena?" Blair asked. She didn't want to make Serena cry. What was wrong with her? Its not like she was feeling pain.

Serena lost it. She couldn't even talk. She looked at Blair and Chuck's mistake and wished it gone. She anted to disappear. She couldn't stand it.

"I just wish that the baby was gone. I'm sorry but it's the worst thing in the world and it needs to go. I hope you've decided adoption." Serena couldn't stop crying. Serena pulled into the hospital.

"Ser-Ow!" Blair screamed. It was the worst pain she had felt, Serena hurried up and helped Blair out of the car and rushed her into the room.

"Help! My friend is pregnant and in severe pain. She's eight months along." Serena said quickly. The doctors got Blair on a rolling table thing and whisked her off. It was happening so fast. Serena took her phone and dialed Chuck's number.

"Hello." Chuck answered. Serena couldn't speak. She was so scared and it was so much. She just cried.

"Serena, what's wrong?" Chuck demanded an answer.

"I'm at the hospital. Blair was in extreme pain and I don't know what's wrong." Serena cried.

"Oh, um. Should I go there?" Chuck asked. He was scared that if he showed up lair would bite his head off. But what if he didn't go and something was seriously wrong with her?

"Yeah, I guess. Goodbye," Serena was too upset to talk. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

"Are you with Blair Waldorf?" A doctor asked her. She opened her eyes.

"Yes, what's wrong with her? Is she going to be okay?" Serena said. Scared for the answer.

"Well, It looks like she's going in labor. The pain she was feeling were contraction and there about 5 minutes apart. It's a good thing you got her when you did because normally at 4 is when we start pushing." The doctor said.

"But she still has three and a half weeks?" Serena said.

"Yeah, its going to be a little premature but it looks fine." The doctor said.

Serena couldn't believe devil child was bout to be born and she didn't have any time left with her friend. Its coming to soon, she's suppose to have three more weeks of being herself. Serena closed her eyes.


End file.
